Album Review: Melanie C – Stages


“Tell me it’s not true, say you didn’t mean it”

With her 2010 performance as Blood Brother’s Mrs Johnstone gaining her an Olivier-award nomination and a forthcoming turn as Mary Magdalene in the arena tour of Jesus Christ Superstar, erstwhile Spice Girl Melanie C’s connection to the world of theatre is a genuine one and so the release of a CD of musical theatre songs could well be seen to be more than just paying lip service. Recorded with long-time collaborator Peter-John Vettese, Stages is, according to the official website, “a collection of songs from the theatre that have been important to Melanie at various stages of her life”. Songs, from the theatre. Remember this.

Over a confused and unimaginative track-listing, which covers a bewildering array of songs whose connections to the theatre are often far from apparent, this seems destined to be a collection that will disappoint fans of both Melanie C and of musical theatre. What this album wants to be – and arguably should have been – is a collection of easy listening soft jazz. Chisholm is a much more effective singer when relaxed, her distinctive nasal tone appears far less frequently, and so the gentle swing through the Gershwin-penned ‘Aren’t You Kinda Glad We Did’ from The Shocking Miss Pilgrim is rather pretty, and renditions of ‘I Only Have Eyes For You’ and ‘My Funny Valentine’ are quietly efficient.

But not content with being a musical theatre-jazz standard hybrid, Stages further smudges its identity with the spurious inclusion of generic numbers whose connections to the central theme are tenuous at best. Anyone who a) thinks the world needs another version of ‘Both Sides Now’ or more crucially b) considers it as representative of musical theatre (it is part of the soundtrack for Priscilla, Queen of the Desert in case you were wondering) should seriously look at their career choices. Likewise with the Bacharach/David classic ‘I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself’, apparently here as part of Shout! The Mod Musical and admittedly far from horrendously sung and arranged here, its inclusion speaks of a massive failure of imagination in song choice, a complete lack of faith in the concept of a musical theatre album, or perhaps both.

Sadly though, even when Stages does what it ostensibly set out to do, it comes up extremely short. A stab at Sondheim in ‘Another Hundred People ‘is brave but lacking the vocal precision that the song demands to really come alive, the big-band treatment of ‘Maybe This Time’ smooths out the rough edges of desperation that is the core of the song, the list of things that the singer of Hair’s ‘Ain’t Got No / I Got Life’ does not have should be amended here to include the necessary soul to sing this song and give it meaning and incredibly given that there’s a genuine connection to musical theatre for once with ‘Tell Me It’s Not True’, the impassioned finale from Blood Brothers, the arrangement here is horrific, the final two minutes in particular are just criminal. Even the much-touted Spice Girl reunion with Emma Bunton guesting on Chess’ ‘I Know Him So Well’ is rendered dull and lifeless by a rendition which tinkles along unobtrusively with little impact.

Ultimately, the conflict between creativity and marketability has resulted in something which is at best inoffensive pap and at worst, a calculated yet uninspired opportunist move. It is most frustrating as the hints of what could have been are here: a stripped-back take on The King and I’s ‘Something Wonderful’ has a shimmering delicacy and Lloyd-Webber’s ‘I Don’t Know How To Love Him’ has a certain charm. But with album notes that proclaim a lack of interest in singing anything in character on this album, the final product is a confused mess and predictably rather soulless. The world of musical theatre is full of writers, old and new, who deserve to be showcased with passion and respect and fortunately, we have a raft of wonderful hard-working, under-rated stars who are willing to do just that. So instead, for a real look at the varied vibrancy of the world of musical theatre, listen to the likes of Julie Atherton, Helena Blackman and Annalene Beechey demonstrating real commitment to the genre.   

5 thoughts on “Album Review: Melanie C – Stages

  1. Sorry, but your criticism is far from being a good read, You got no music-based arguments… probably beacause your are not a musician… you´re just a mediocre kournalist who thinks that can write about anything, even when you got no knowledge on the theme. If I were you, I´d look for a good profesioanl help to sustain your vague arguments.

  2. Such harsh and unobjective review…. I’m not a fan of her but this review smells prejudice….I’ve listened the album after reading that review and I must say that few songs are quite good, loving “another 100 people”, “I got life”, “I just don’t know what to do with myself”, and actually I like her version of “Both sides now”…..Dear Ian if you are frustrated or having a bad day – don’t write anything, go for a walk and smile, don’t take life too seriously. And now I’ve read that she’ve released that album under her own label…. Well good for her, she can release even gospel album now I reckon 🙂 regards

  3. I never thought Ian ever had pretentions to be a kournalist (sic). He just writes for himself about the things he experiences and what he personally thinks of them. Nothing wrong with that! Anyone looking for professional music journalism rather than a theatre-lover's opinions is DEFINITELY in the wrong place! Which sounds like both of you, anonymous. 🙂

  4. Have you even heard the cd, anonymous 1? And beware of calling out mediocrity in others if you haven't got spell-checker switched on…
    Anonymous 2 – whether you're in a good mood or a bad mood doesn't make a jot of difference to the fact that Melanie C has far inferior vocal colour and interpretative skill when it comes to musical theatre. As for the gospel album proposition, you're insulting pretty much every gospel singer out there.
    Weez – I get your point, but I think this is closer to professional journalism than you might allow. There's a level of detail and honesty here that print doesn't allow for, whether you agree with the opinions or not, and so I'd much rather read blogs like this than pay £5 for a magazine full of tiny reviews.
    As it is – this is a horrible cd, don't go anywhere near it.

  5. I already bought the album and it's pretty good, she has a unique voice. at least not an artist of the bunch, compared with so-called "artists" of today who do not even know how to read a score. Therefore I recommend the cd "stages" by melanie c. NOTE. – Only those who know real music spend a few bucks.

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