Successful Online Dating Starts with Good Email

Dating Tips – Getting Started by Writing a Compelling Email Message

Online daters may find someone they want to get to know better, but don’t know how to make the initial contact. Follow the simple guidelines below to get started.

Singles are faced with a similar dilemma whether meeting face to face or “meeting online,” i.e. what to say? Communicating online via Shagle video chat actually offers the advantages of time to think through a message and of knowing things about the other person already through profiles.

Keep Email Message Brief and Meaningful

Foremost, keep the message brief yet long enough to say something meaningful. Aim for two or three short paragraphs. Don’t overwhelm or bore the other person, but at the same time, the note shouldn’t be so short that nothing of substance is said.

Roughly one paragraph should be used to introduce the writer to the reader, throwing out enticing tidbits that will make the reader curious enough to visit the writer’s profile and to write back. Another paragraph can seek to point out similarities between the two people and to ask the reader questions. A third paragraph can ask more questions or suggest a possible course of action.

Be Specific and Pay Attention

One way to almost ensure that a person will not write back is to make it obvious that this email is a cut-and-paste job, the same email that gets sent to everyone else. This shows a lack of enthusiasm and general laziness. This type of email will be among the last to get a response if it gets any response at all. It can be considered an internet dating scam. A well-thought-out email will tell the reader, “I paid attention to what you wrote in your profile.”

Refer back to specific things mentioned in the other person’s email. If the potential date has mentioned that he practices yoga, then ask what style of yoga or what studio he goes to. If her profile states that she speaks four languages, inquire how she learned them. The readers will be flattered that someone bothered to look at their profiles, found something about them interesting, and is now making comments or asking questions.

Accentuate Common Interests Between Online Daters

A successful online dater will make a connection with the other single and create interest in meeting in person. Select two to four things in common with the other person’s profile and use one paragraph to highlight those commonalities.

Demonstrating a similar career, the same favorite authors or movies, a shared passion for travel, or any other specific common interest will show the reader that there is a reason to write back.

Ask the Reader to Do Something

The final step might be the most critical. The reader might like what he reads, but might be unsure what to do next. It is a typical problem for those who have long-distance relationships too. An email that ends without a call to action will leave the reader hanging and wondering what to do. To avoid this problem, the writer should suggest the next step.

Consider asking questions like, “You say you love gardening, but I have a black thumb, so can you share some advice?” or “How did you happen to spend a few years living in Germany?” Not only will the reader have a starting point for the reply email, but such a question will reinforce that the writer has paid attention to something specific in the reader’s email.

Requesting a date in an introductory email is too bold and premature, but it doesn’t hurt to throw out some questions that might stimulate further conversation. A question like “I just moved here but haven’t been able to find a free tennis court, do you know of one near me?” could lead to a tennis match together, and perhaps a love match.

Summing Up

A clever and thoughtful email is the first step towards landing a date through the Internet. A good email will be short enough not to bore the reader, but long enough to say something of value. It will show the reader that the writer has read her profile and taken the time to mention things they have in common. Requesting action from the reader by asking questions will solicit a response and hopefully lead to an ongoing conversation, and hopefully a live date.

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